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The name is Schitt, he replied. Jack Schitt.

Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Jack
Name
Names
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More quotes by Jasper Fforde

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You nearly killed eight people! I managed to gasp out loud. My count was closer to twelve, returned Havisham as she opened the door. And anyhow, you can't nearly kill someone. Either they are dead or they are not.
Jasper Fforde
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Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.
Jasper Fforde
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Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed.
Jasper Fforde
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Apart from the faint odor of ink that pervaded the scene, it might have been real.
Jasper Fforde
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Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand pen mighter than the sword and so forth.
Jasper Fforde
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If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.
Jasper Fforde
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Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.
Jasper Fforde
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Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.
Jasper Fforde
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Sorry, [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.
Jasper Fforde
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Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books.
Jasper Fforde
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Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried him at Queenzieburn to make use of the triple word score.
Jasper Fforde
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I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.
Jasper Fforde
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I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university and studied English.
Jasper Fforde
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Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.
Jasper Fforde
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It wasn’t going to be hard…it was going to be impossible. It wouldn’t deter me. I'd done impossible things several times in the past, and the prospect didn’t scare me as much as it used to.
Jasper Fforde
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He spent his life immersed in books to the cost of everything else, even personal relationships. Friends, he'd once said, are probably great, but I have forty thousands friends of my own already, and each of them needs my attention.
Jasper Fforde
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If only life were that simple if one could jump to the good parts and flick through the bad.
Jasper Fforde
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To each our own Hamlet.
Jasper Fforde
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Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough.
Jasper Fforde
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What is there to forgive?. . .Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times.
Jasper Fforde