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I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count.

Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Lasts
Last
Boyfriends
Exes
Collect
Count
Five

More quotes by Jasper Fforde

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He spent his life immersed in books to the cost of everything else, even personal relationships. Friends, he'd once said, are probably great, but I have forty thousands friends of my own already, and each of them needs my attention.
Jasper Fforde
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Edward, Edward, he said with a patronising smile, there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can't find the correct answer then you are obviously asking the wrong question.
Jasper Fforde
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A surfeit of information often hides an untruth,” he said, with annoying clarity.
Jasper Fforde
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Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
Jasper Fforde
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It wasn’t going to be hard…it was going to be impossible. It wouldn’t deter me. I'd done impossible things several times in the past, and the prospect didn’t scare me as much as it used to.
Jasper Fforde
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Do I have to talk to insane people? You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory.
Jasper Fforde
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Mr. Pewter led them through to a library, filled with thousands of antiquarian books. 'Impressive, eh?' 'Very,' said Jack. 'How did you amass all these?' 'Well,' said Pewter, 'You know the person who always borrows books and never gives them back?' 'Yes...?' 'I'm that person.
Jasper Fforde
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Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
Jasper Fforde
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Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.
Jasper Fforde
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Sometimes choice is a luxury that fate does not afford us.
Jasper Fforde
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How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark. A whale isn't a fish, Thursday. A whale shark is--sort of. All right, it's as fishy as a crayfish. A crayfish isn't a fish. A starfish, then. Still not a fish. This is a very odd conversation, Thursday.
Jasper Fforde
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Aspects that we consider normal today could very well be repugnant in the future - eating animals, for one thing, or abundant choice, or invasive surgery. I was simply trying to demonstrate that what is acceptable today may not be acceptable forever, and vice-versa.
Jasper Fforde
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Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms—of life, of love, of knowledge—has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath.
Jasper Fforde
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The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless have the more militant citizens picketing cheese shops.
Jasper Fforde
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DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: Remember, m'boy, his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
Jasper Fforde
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He set fire to some potatoes, then cooked some undelivered post in the embers. - Dad Did he now? What a strange fellow. I would have done it the other way around. - Stafford
Jasper Fforde
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...the landscape inside Lord of the Rings was so stunning and so stupendous that it could be absorbed as a form of nourishment.
Jasper Fforde
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You nearly killed eight people! I managed to gasp out loud. My count was closer to twelve, returned Havisham as she opened the door. And anyhow, you can't nearly kill someone. Either they are dead or they are not.
Jasper Fforde
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There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time!
Jasper Fforde
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What is there to forgive?. . .Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times.
Jasper Fforde