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Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.

Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Even
Never
Dead

More quotes by Jasper Fforde

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Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.
Jasper Fforde
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Agents and publishers only want one thing - good writing.
Jasper Fforde
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Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could look to a brighter future of long-term thought--and more reading.
Jasper Fforde
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Who do readers expect to see when they pick up this book? Who has won the Most Troubled Romantic Lead at the BookWorld Awards seventy-seven times in a row? Me. All me.
Jasper Fforde
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Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
Jasper Fforde
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I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.
Jasper Fforde
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Do I have to talk to insane people? You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory.
Jasper Fforde
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If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.
Jasper Fforde
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Don't move, said Sprockett.Mimes don't generally attack unless they are threatened.
Jasper Fforde
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You many have noticed I have a temper ... but when I calmed down, I realized that this world, blighted and imperfect as it is, would be better with you in it.
Jasper Fforde
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I have the death sentence in seven genres.
Jasper Fforde
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Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.
Jasper Fforde
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Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.
Jasper Fforde
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I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.
Jasper Fforde
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I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.
Jasper Fforde
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Don't let anyone tell you the future is already written. The best any prophet can do is to give you the most likely version of future events. It is up to us to accept the future for what it is, or change it. It is easy to go with the flow it takes a person of singular courage to go against it.
Jasper Fforde
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The name is Schitt, he replied. Jack Schitt.
Jasper Fforde
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Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms—of life, of love, of knowledge—has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath.
Jasper Fforde
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Reading, I had learned, was as creative a process as writing, sometimes more so. When we read of the dying rays of the setting sun or the boom and swish of the incoming tide, we should reserve as much praise for ourselves as for the author. After all, the reader is doing all the work - the writer might have died long ago.
Jasper Fforde
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Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.
Jasper Fforde