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Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.

Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Even
Never
Dead

More quotes by Jasper Fforde

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Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.
Jasper Fforde
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I have a very varied taste in music. Everything from rap to classical to Latino to Rat Pack to jazz.
Jasper Fforde
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Agents and publishers only want one thing - good writing.
Jasper Fforde
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The fun one can have writing books about books is limitless, to be honest.
Jasper Fforde
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Reading, I had learned, was as creative a process as writing, sometimes more so. When we read of the dying rays of the setting sun or the boom and swish of the incoming tide, we should reserve as much praise for ourselves as for the author. After all, the reader is doing all the work - the writer might have died long ago.
Jasper Fforde
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Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them.
Jasper Fforde
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Our notions of self-determination are, on the whole, something of a myth. We are governed almost exclusively by our own peculiar habits, which makes those who rail against them that much more remarkable.
Jasper Fforde
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Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms—of life, of love, of knowledge—has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath.
Jasper Fforde
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Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed.
Jasper Fforde
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Cats aren't really friendly, they're just cozying up to the dominant life-form as a hedge against extinction.
Jasper Fforde
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I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.
Jasper Fforde
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The safest course was actually the simplest-do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the best. It wasn't a great plan, but it had the benefits of simplicity and a long tradition.
Jasper Fforde
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What is there to forgive?. . .Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times.
Jasper Fforde
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Death and the end of one's life are two very different things indeed.
Jasper Fforde
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Who do readers expect to see when they pick up this book? Who has won the Most Troubled Romantic Lead at the BookWorld Awards seventy-seven times in a row? Me. All me.
Jasper Fforde
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Scientific thought - indeed, any mode of thought, whether it be religious or philosophical or anything else - is just like the fashions that we wear - only much longer lived. It's a little like a boy band.
Jasper Fforde
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There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time!
Jasper Fforde
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You have many fine qualities that I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a century ago, when values such as yours meant something.
Jasper Fforde
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If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.
Jasper Fforde
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Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
Jasper Fforde