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Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.

Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Literature
Children
Work
Mcgregor
Vader
Nasty
Piece
Pieces
Quite

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I have the death sentence in seven genres.
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Sorry, [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.
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Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand pen mighter than the sword and so forth.
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DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: Remember, m'boy, his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
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Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
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People who read my books have an open mind when it comes to new, bizarre, interesting and exciting ideas.
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Without a yardstick sometimes the high points can be taken for granted.
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History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times.
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Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head.
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That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.
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He spent his life immersed in books to the cost of everything else, even personal relationships. Friends, he'd once said, are probably great, but I have forty thousands friends of my own already, and each of them needs my attention.
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Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing.
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I work very much on the principle that anything created by mankind has mischief and error hardwired into its inception.
Jasper Fforde
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I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.
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Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed.
Jasper Fforde
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Cats aren't really friendly, they're just cozying up to the dominant life-form as a hedge against extinction.
Jasper Fforde
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The Kingdom of Hereford was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age, much to the chagrin of a lot of males, some of whom were still failing to make the grade at thirty-two.
Jasper Fforde
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Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could look to a brighter future of long-term thought--and more reading.
Jasper Fforde
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Reading, I had learned, was as creative a process as writing, sometimes more so. When we read of the dying rays of the setting sun or the boom and swish of the incoming tide, we should reserve as much praise for ourselves as for the author. After all, the reader is doing all the work - the writer might have died long ago.
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Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.
Jasper Fforde