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I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.

Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Includes
Shouldn
Told
Anything
Believe

More quotes by Jasper Fforde

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You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library. She pointed to the shelf opposite. Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a series, I believe.
Jasper Fforde
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Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed.
Jasper Fforde
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If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.
Jasper Fforde
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Mr. Pewter led them through to a library, filled with thousands of antiquarian books. 'Impressive, eh?' 'Very,' said Jack. 'How did you amass all these?' 'Well,' said Pewter, 'You know the person who always borrows books and never gives them back?' 'Yes...?' 'I'm that person.
Jasper Fforde
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For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct.
Jasper Fforde
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Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough.
Jasper Fforde
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Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.
Jasper Fforde
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I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.
Jasper Fforde
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Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.
Jasper Fforde
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Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.
Jasper Fforde
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Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.
Jasper Fforde
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Growth purely for its own sake is the philosophy of cancer.
Jasper Fforde
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If only life were that simple if one could jump to the good parts and flick through the bad.
Jasper Fforde
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Sorry, [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.
Jasper Fforde
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...being written by someone who might not quite understand the subconscious nuance of the character leaves us in varying degrees of flatness.
Jasper Fforde
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I have a very varied taste in music. Everything from rap to classical to Latino to Rat Pack to jazz.
Jasper Fforde
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You nearly killed eight people! I managed to gasp out loud. My count was closer to twelve, returned Havisham as she opened the door. And anyhow, you can't nearly kill someone. Either they are dead or they are not.
Jasper Fforde
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The name is Schitt, he replied. Jack Schitt.
Jasper Fforde
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DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: Remember, m'boy, his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
Jasper Fforde
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...the landscape inside Lord of the Rings was so stunning and so stupendous that it could be absorbed as a form of nourishment.
Jasper Fforde