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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
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South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
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More quotes by Janet Evanovich
You don't even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.
Janet Evanovich
A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
Janet Evanovich
Did you take Joyce's engine?' 'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.
Janet Evanovich
Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.
Janet Evanovich
Have you eaten?' I asked Diesel. When?' Recently.' No.
Janet Evanovich
Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.
Janet Evanovich
Was a fast easy reading, Good to take your mind off of anything serious for a while
Janet Evanovich
Give me the gun. Ranger said. I extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. Ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. It's warm, he said. He put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. Am I fired? No. Any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.
Janet Evanovich
You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire. Do you really think so?' Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.' I don't like the wood elves.' They're okay. They're misunderstood.
Janet Evanovich
If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
Janet Evanovich
I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.
Janet Evanovich
You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter. Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines
Janet Evanovich
I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
Janet Evanovich
If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk, I said to Ranger. Not drunk, Ranger said. Just relaxed and naked.
Janet Evanovich
I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down. Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich
If anything happened to you, I'd be so destroyed they'd have to strap me to a bed and feed me through a tube. After five or six years, I might be capable of taking care of Rex. In the interim, you should assign a guardian.
Janet Evanovich
There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.
Janet Evanovich
Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.
Janet Evanovich
I wasn’t sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others.
Janet Evanovich
