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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
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South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
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More quotes by Janet Evanovich
Did you take Joyce's engine?' 'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.
Janet Evanovich
I always know it's Sunday because I wake up feeling apologetic. That's one of the cool things about being a Catholic . . . it's a multifaceted experience. If you lose the faith, chances are you'll keep the guilt, so it isn't as if you've been skunked altogether.
Janet Evanovich
You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
Janet Evanovich
Bullets are creepy. Stephenie
Janet Evanovich
I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.
Janet Evanovich
As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.
Janet Evanovich
About that proposal, cupcake... Morelli
Janet Evanovich
Personally, I'm a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don't have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It's magic. End of discussion.
Janet Evanovich
Gotta protect the little dudes. I tried an AK-47, but it wouldn't fit under my seat. I like the Uzi better, anyway. It looks better with the dress. The AK seems too casual to me
Janet Evanovich
You're not looking for a partner, Ranger said. You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar? Everything, I said. I just ate everything.
Janet Evanovich
I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.
Janet Evanovich
Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
Janet Evanovich
There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing. Ranger
Janet Evanovich
You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli
Janet Evanovich
If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
Janet Evanovich
There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.
Janet Evanovich
I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
Janet Evanovich
I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionall mature.
Janet Evanovich
I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities.
Janet Evanovich
God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.
Janet Evanovich