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I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Need
Done
Needs
Men
Hamster
Hamsters

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions? -Ranger
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A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
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You should see me work my magic in leather Ranger
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Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.
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Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator. Stephanie Plum
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I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
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If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk, I said to Ranger. Not drunk, Ranger said. Just relaxed and naked.
Janet Evanovich
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You're not looking for a partner, Ranger said. You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar? Everything, I said. I just ate everything.
Janet Evanovich
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I felt my cell phone buzz, and I looked at the screen. Ranger. “Your GPS just went blank,” Ranger said when I answered. “The car exploded.” There was a beat of silence. “Rafael won the pool,” Ranger said. “Are you okay?” “Yes.” “I’ll send someone.
Janet Evanovich
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I don't know much about cars, Joyce said, but I think someone took my engine.
Janet Evanovich
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What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples? Helen Plum
Janet Evanovich
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I was waiting for my body receipt when Morelli walked in. He nodded to Ranger and grinned at me in my whiteness. “I was at my desk, and Mickey told me I had to come out to take a look,” Morelli said. “It’s floor,” I told him. “I can see that. If we add some milk and eggs, we can turn you into a cake.
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Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.
Janet Evanovich
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I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down. Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich
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Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
Janet Evanovich
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I was driving by, doing a security check... and I smelled leg of lamb. Morelli
Janet Evanovich
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
Janet Evanovich
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There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.
Janet Evanovich
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This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe. Ranger
Janet Evanovich
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Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich