Quote

Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Never
Difference
Like
Differences
Wrong
Thought
Firsts
Replace
First
Cake
Going
Basic
Always
Sex

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You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms. Joe Morelli
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Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
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Personally, I'm a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don't have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It's magic. End of discussion.
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Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
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I received rejection letters for ten years (one on a napkin, written in crayon.) I had all my rejection notices stored in a box. When the box was finally full I took it to the curb and set it on fire. The next day I went out and got a temp job.
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Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.
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She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.” “Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg asked. “It’s my job,” Kellen said. “I kill people. It pays well, but it’s not universally socially acceptable.
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I don't know much about cars, Joyce said, but I think someone took my engine.
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Amen Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. I thought you were Baptist. Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.
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God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.
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Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.
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You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills, I said. I just enter. I don't usually break. You broke down Pitch's door. Lost my temper. -Ranger and Stephanie
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When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.
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I'm for sure a workaholic. I'm a complete control freak and I take on way too many projects.
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Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion
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It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum
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You don't even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.
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If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
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You're not looking for a partner, Ranger said. You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar? Everything, I said. I just ate everything.
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