Quote

I'd do the lifting, but I just got a manicure. And I notice you don't have a manicure at all. Only thing noticeable about your hands is the missing tan on your ring finger that I don't care about. -Lula

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Ring
Notice
Rings
Manicure
Fingers
Manicures
Missing
Lula
Hands
Noticeable
Care
Lifting
Thing
Finger

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I'm sorry about your Porsche. I can replace the Porsche. I can't replace you. You need to be more careful. I was just sitting in your car! Babe, you're a magnet for disaster.
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You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
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Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions? -Ranger
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
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I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.
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That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone.
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I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
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Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. this is it, he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep.this car has protective qualities You mean like a guardian angel? I mean, like, it has seatbelts
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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
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Omigod,' I said on a sudden flash of sleep-deprived insight. 'You're the big bad wolf.' There are some similarities.
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I shot that sucker right in the gumpy. Grandma Mazur
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Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.
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The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics. Connie Rosolli
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I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. It was all because of the shower gel, I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. Shower gel? I made a major effort not to sigh. Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
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I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean
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And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
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-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-
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Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.
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You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.
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Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.
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