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Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this. - Morelli

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Going
Like
Doughnuts
Stephanie
Doughnut
Begging
Keep

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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
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Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator. Stephanie Plum
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. That's a rocket launcher! Yep, Lula said. It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects.
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Somewhere along the line, I realized that I liked telling stories, and I decided that I would try writing. Ten years later, I finally got a book published. It was hard. I had no skills. I knew nothing about the business of getting published. So I had to keep working at it.
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You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake. Morelli said. I'll find you. You are such a cop. Tell me about it.
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I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.
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Have you eaten?' I asked Diesel. When?' Recently.' No.
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Ranger sent us to check on you, Hal said. We just got here, and we heard shots. Some moron ate my jelly doughnut, Lula said. So I shot him.
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I wasnt always a writer. When I went to college and majored in fine arts, I was a painter. Then I was a stay-at-home mom.
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Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things? Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.
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[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.
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You gonna take the case? It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of. You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, Grandma said.
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Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.
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You should see me work my magic in leather Ranger
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I shot that sucker right in the gumpy. Grandma Mazur
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I'm sorry about your Porsche. I can replace the Porsche. I can't replace you. You need to be more careful. I was just sitting in your car! Babe, you're a magnet for disaster.
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You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.
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I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate. Grandma Mazur
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What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples? Helen Plum
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