Quote

It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Fats
Exactly
Weight
Short
Wasn
Lula
Stephanie
Plum
Plums

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Ranger sent us to check on you, Hal said. We just got here, and we heard shots. Some moron ate my jelly doughnut, Lula said. So I shot him.
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I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea.
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Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.
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I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.
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You're not looking for a partner, Ranger said. You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar? Everything, I said. I just ate everything.
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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
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I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.
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I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. It was all because of the shower gel, I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. Shower gel? I made a major effort not to sigh. Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
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I received rejection letters for ten years (one on a napkin, written in crayon.) I had all my rejection notices stored in a box. When the box was finally full I took it to the curb and set it on fire. The next day I went out and got a temp job.
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I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.
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As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.
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You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
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Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
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Give me the gun. Ranger said. I extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. Ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. It's warm, he said. He put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. Am I fired? No. Any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.
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You don't even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.
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Aren't you something, Grandma said. I never saw a midget up close. Little person, Briggs said. And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
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You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli
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I checked my phone messages. Three in all. The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole message. The second was from Ranger. “Yo.” Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
Janet Evanovich
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He squinted at me. What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control?
Janet Evanovich