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I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Boxes
Woman
Idea
Give
Ideas
Giving
Pimple
Good
Pimples
Bullets
More quotes by Janet Evanovich
I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.
Janet Evanovich
I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.
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You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.-
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.
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If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
Janet Evanovich
The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. Fainted, I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock. Well, the rock fainted.
Janet Evanovich
Were really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way.
Janet Evanovich
Concentrate on doing the job, not the fear.
Janet Evanovich
Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things? Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.
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I've never been in this part of Trenton before. I don't feel comfortable driving around buildings that haven't got gang slogans sprayed on them. Look at this place. No boarded-up windows. No garbage in the gutter. No brothers selling goods on the street. Don't know how people can live like this.
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I think that some books are more successful than others to certain readers. People who read my books for the humor, they're going to love one book. People who read my books for the mystery, they might not like that book quite as much.
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I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
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I received rejection letters for ten years (one on a napkin, written in crayon.) I had all my rejection notices stored in a box. When the box was finally full I took it to the curb and set it on fire. The next day I went out and got a temp job.
Janet Evanovich
Am I to assume you would rather not have us as clients? Let me think about that for a nanosecond, Dickie said. Yes! Last time you were in my office you tried to kill me. That's an exaggeration. Maim you, yes. Kill you, probably not.
Janet Evanovich
Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
Janet Evanovich
I hate mornings. They start so early.
Janet Evanovich
You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think? Stuart Bagget
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I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.
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they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August
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