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I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Thinking
Elevator
Elevators
Anymore
Went
Mean
Way
Think
More quotes by Janet Evanovich
I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.
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Connie drove a silver Camry with rosary beads hanging from her rearview mirror and a Smith& Wesson stuck under the seat. No matter whatwent down, Connie was covered.
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
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I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.
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I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter.
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The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
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I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy
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He doesn’t look very smart,” Diesel said. “He’s not even giving me the finger.” “Can monkey’s do that?” Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. “Cool!” Hal said.
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
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Did you take Joyce's engine?' 'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.
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Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head. Eddie DeChooch
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I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate. Grandma Mazur
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they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August
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You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think? Stuart Bagget
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You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.
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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
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Are you afraid of me? Uh... yes.' The smile stayed fixed in place. 'You should be. You locked me in a refrigerator truck with three dead people. Sooner or later I'm going to get you for it.
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It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence. Joe Morelli
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Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.
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Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out? Lula
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