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I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Elevators
Anymore
Went
Mean
Way
Think
Thinking
Elevator

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I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
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I almost never shoot people.
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Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire. I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer. Whoa. Dillon said. It wasn't my fault, I told him. Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for
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Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
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I always know it's Sunday because I wake up feeling apologetic. That's one of the cool things about being a Catholic . . . it's a multifaceted experience. If you lose the faith, chances are you'll keep the guilt, so it isn't as if you've been skunked altogether.
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The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang, Grandma said. Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.
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I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.
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Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.
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You're not looking for a partner, Ranger said. You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar? Everything, I said. I just ate everything.
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These are desparate times. - Stephanie Plum
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As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.
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Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.
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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.
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Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
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My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could see myself think
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I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
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I checked my phone messages. Three in all. The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole message. The second was from Ranger. “Yo.” Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.
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You owe me! -Stephanie Why do I owe you? -Joe I caught your no good cousin. -Stephanie Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property. -Joe Well if you are going to be picky about it.... -Stephanie
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Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.
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I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.
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