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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Everybody
Almost
Wimps
Grandma
Bunch
Died
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Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.
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Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
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One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger
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Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.
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It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum
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Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
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I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.
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Your life isn't out of control. It's expanded.
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I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.
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I don't mean to change the subject or anything, but have you tried concealer on that zit? Cynthia Lotte - Hot Six
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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
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I received rejection letters for ten years (one on a napkin, written in crayon.) I had all my rejection notices stored in a box. When the box was finally full I took it to the curb and set it on fire. The next day I went out and got a temp job.
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You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
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I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
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Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.
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When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.
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When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.
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I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don’t want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We’re hot.
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