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Stop the planet. I want to get off.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Planets
Stop
Planet

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.
Janet Evanovich
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A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
Janet Evanovich
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When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.
Janet Evanovich
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-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-
Janet Evanovich
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Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula
Janet Evanovich
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Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion
Janet Evanovich
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I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.
Janet Evanovich
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I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter.
Janet Evanovich
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Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
Janet Evanovich
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I checked my phone messages. Three in all. The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole message. The second was from Ranger. “Yo.” Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.
Janet Evanovich
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Morelli beeped his truck unlocked. “If you’re looking for your rent-a-cop, I told Ranger you’d be with me this morning.” “Did he make you take a blood oath that you’d protect me?” “He asked me if I had adequate health insurance.
Janet Evanovich
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It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence. Joe Morelli
Janet Evanovich
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Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you
Janet Evanovich
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Ranger sent us to check on you, Hal said. We just got here, and we heard shots. Some moron ate my jelly doughnut, Lula said. So I shot him.
Janet Evanovich
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Your on your on with this one babe. Coward. Calling me names isn't going to get me in there. -Ranger and Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
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Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
Janet Evanovich
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Did you take Joyce's engine?' 'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.
Janet Evanovich
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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.
Janet Evanovich
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I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
Janet Evanovich