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I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionall mature.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Mature
Tongue
Stuck
Feeling
Feelings

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I checked my phone messages. Three in all. The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole message. The second was from Ranger. “Yo.” Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.
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There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspect Stephanie
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Were really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way.
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You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.
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Somewhere along the line, I realized that I liked telling stories, and I decided that I would try writing. Ten years later, I finally got a book published. It was hard. I had no skills. I knew nothing about the business of getting published. So I had to keep working at it.
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Was a fast easy reading, Good to take your mind off of anything serious for a while
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Nice dress. Take it off.
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Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
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When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.
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You gonna take the case? It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of. You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, Grandma said.
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
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Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula
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If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
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I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate. Grandma Mazur
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Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum
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You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms. Joe Morelli
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I have bad car juju. -Stephanie Plum
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I don't want my readers slowed down by long passages of narrative.
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Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.
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The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. Fainted, I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock. Well, the rock fainted.
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