Quote

Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.

Janet Evanovich

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Change
Calories
Spare
Spares
Chocolate
Count
Everyone

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

Image
And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
Janet Evanovich
Image
Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I hate mornings. They start so early.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities.
Janet Evanovich
Image
A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
Janet Evanovich
Image
He's a good man, Ranger said. And you? I'm better.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I got out of the elevator and confronted Mr. Wexler. “Killing is wrong.” “We kill chickens,” Mr. Wexler said. “We kill cows. We kill trees. So big deal, we kill some drug dealers.” It was hard to argue with that kind of logic because I like cows and chickens and trees much better than drug dealers.
Janet Evanovich
Image
From the look on your face, I'd say you know him. I nodded. Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school. Connie grunted. Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli
Janet Evanovich
Image
At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable camera.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. It was all because of the shower gel, I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. Shower gel? I made a major effort not to sigh. Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
Janet Evanovich
Image
It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
Janet Evanovich
Image
That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone.
Janet Evanovich
Image
You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Were really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Are we fighting? I asked Morelli. No. Were discussing. Are you sure? Am I yelling? Morelli asked. Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around? No. The were not fighting.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
Janet Evanovich