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Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Looks
Like
Lula
Barbie
Gun
Look
Everything
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Were really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way.
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You should see me work my magic in leather Ranger
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Personally, I'm a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don't have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It's magic. End of discussion.
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Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?' Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.' Superheroes are make-believe.' Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?
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Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.
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Oh, for God's sake, I said. Just give me the stupid thing. I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. GPS, Ranger said to Morelli. Probably I can find her breast without it, Morelli said. But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.
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Is there anything else you need from me? Ranger asked. Not right now. There will come a time, Ranger said. Let me know when. And he disconnected. I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead.
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Ranger sent us to check on you, Hal said. We just got here, and we heard shots. Some moron ate my jelly doughnut, Lula said. So I shot him.
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How was your day? Morelli asked me. Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
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I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
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Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.
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Omygod, I haven’t got years. I’ll have to hide in the Bat Cave.” “Once you go to the Bat Cave it’s forever, babe.” Eeek.
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they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August
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I always know it's Sunday because I wake up feeling apologetic. That's one of the cool things about being a Catholic . . . it's a multifaceted experience. If you lose the faith, chances are you'll keep the guilt, so it isn't as if you've been skunked altogether.
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