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From the look on your face, I'd say you know him. I nodded. Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school. Connie grunted. Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Faces
Connie
Half
Grunted
School
Nodded
Women
Jersey
Look
Sold
Looks
Honey
High
Face

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Were really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way.
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I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
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Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige.
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Have you eaten?' I asked Diesel. When?' Recently.' No.
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Nice dress. Take it off.
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You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter. Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines
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The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang, Grandma said. Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.
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Make sure your main characters are likeable. They can be flawed, but your readers need to be able to root for them.
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When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.
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I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. It was all because of the shower gel, I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. Shower gel? I made a major effort not to sigh. Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
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I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
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He doesn’t look very smart,” Diesel said. “He’s not even giving me the finger.” “Can monkey’s do that?” Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. “Cool!” Hal said.
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I think that some books are more successful than others to certain readers. People who read my books for the humor, they're going to love one book. People who read my books for the mystery, they might not like that book quite as much.
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Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early. -Ranger
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It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum
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If anything happened to you, I'd be so destroyed they'd have to strap me to a bed and feed me through a tube. After five or six years, I might be capable of taking care of Rex. In the interim, you should assign a guardian.
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My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could see myself think
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I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
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