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I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Like
Gym
Bags
Kiss
Smell
Kissing

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What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples? Helen Plum
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Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.
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Omygod, I haven’t got years. I’ll have to hide in the Bat Cave.” “Once you go to the Bat Cave it’s forever, babe.” Eeek.
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I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. It was all because of the shower gel, I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. Shower gel? I made a major effort not to sigh. Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
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It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum
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I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don’t want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We’re hot.
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Ranger’s gonna hate this,” Tank said. “Better to get shot than to have to explain the gate. Bad enough I got a horse that smells like his shower gel.
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Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you
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I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea.
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She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.” “Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg asked. “It’s my job,” Kellen said. “I kill people. It pays well, but it’s not universally socially acceptable.
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Who's the best person you know. Of all the people you know personally, is there anyone who has a sense of right and wrong and lives by it? This was a sticky question because it would have to be Ranger ...but I suspected he occasionally killed people. Only bad people, of course, but still...
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About that proposal, cupcake... Morelli
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Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.
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I'd do the lifting, but I just got a manicure. And I notice you don't have a manicure at all. Only thing noticeable about your hands is the missing tan on your ring finger that I don't care about. -Lula
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You'd tell me if we were getting married, wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour.
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I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean
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He doesn’t look very smart,” Diesel said. “He’s not even giving me the finger.” “Can monkey’s do that?” Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. “Cool!” Hal said.
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I thought you wanted to date other women? I didn't want to date other women. We decided in the heat of the moment that were no longer exclusively attached. And I could date other men. Morelli was starting to look annoyed. Have you been dating other men? Maybe. As long as it isn't Ranger, Morelli said. I don't think Ranger d
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As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. That's a rocket launcher! Yep, Lula said. It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects.
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Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator. Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich