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Were really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Aren
Really
Way
Screwed
Large

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this. - Morelli
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I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
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You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
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A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
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Somewhere along the line, I realized that I liked telling stories, and I decided that I would try writing. Ten years later, I finally got a book published. It was hard. I had no skills. I knew nothing about the business of getting published. So I had to keep working at it.
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There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.
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How was your day? Morelli asked me. Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
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The golden years are for pussies. We went straight to brass.
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Your life isn't out of control. It's expanded.
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Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
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Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week. Carl Costanza - Hot Six
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I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
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I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman.
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Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
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Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.
Janet Evanovich
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When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.
Janet Evanovich
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Stephanie,' Valerie said. 'She's going to have a baby, and she's getting married.' My father was confused. He looked around the room. No Joe. No Ranger. His eyes locked on Diesel. 'Not the psycho,' he said. Diesel blew out a sigh. My father turned to my mother. 'Get me the carving knife. Make sure it's sharp.
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Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
Janet Evanovich