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Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Cupcakes
Breaking
Known
Heart
Long
Cupcake

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If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
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It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum
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Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
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He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.
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What are you doing back at the bakery?” I asked [Diesel]. “Did you know Wulf was here?” “No. I knew food was here.
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You gonna take the case? It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of. You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, Grandma said.
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I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.
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I don't know much about cars, Joyce said, but I think someone took my engine.
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I wasn’t sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others.
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I always know it's Sunday because I wake up feeling apologetic. That's one of the cool things about being a Catholic . . . it's a multifaceted experience. If you lose the faith, chances are you'll keep the guilt, so it isn't as if you've been skunked altogether.
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Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.
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Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things? Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.
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I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
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Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.
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If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
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Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.
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