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Am I to assume you would rather not have us as clients? Let me think about that for a nanosecond, Dickie said. Yes! Last time you were in my office you tried to kill me. That's an exaggeration. Maim you, yes. Kill you, probably not.
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Rather
Assume
Would
Assuming
Time
Tried
Think
Kill
Thinking
Office
Nanosecond
Probably
Maim
Lasts
Exaggeration
Last
Clients
More quotes by Janet Evanovich
Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
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Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
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Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week. Carl Costanza - Hot Six
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I don't know much about cars, Joyce said, but I think someone took my engine.
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Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off, he said. I'm not in the mood to compromise.
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Give me the gun. Ranger said. I extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. Ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. It's warm, he said. He put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. Am I fired? No. Any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.
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I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.
Janet Evanovich
Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
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If anything happened to you, I'd be so destroyed they'd have to strap me to a bed and feed me through a tube. After five or six years, I might be capable of taking care of Rex. In the interim, you should assign a guardian.
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I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.
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You don't even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.
Janet Evanovich
Your on your on with this one babe. Coward. Calling me names isn't going to get me in there. -Ranger and Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspect Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
Janet Evanovich
Concentrate on doing the job, not the fear.
Janet Evanovich
Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire. I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer. Whoa. Dillon said. It wasn't my fault, I told him. Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for
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I hate mornings. They start so early.
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As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. That's a rocket launcher! Yep, Lula said. It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects.
Janet Evanovich
