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Omygod, I haven’t got years. I’ll have to hide in the Bat Cave.” “Once you go to the Bat Cave it’s forever, babe.” Eeek.
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
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More quotes by Janet Evanovich
Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.
Janet Evanovich
Are we fighting? I asked Morelli. No. Were discussing. Are you sure? Am I yelling? Morelli asked. Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around? No. The were not fighting.
Janet Evanovich
Aren't you something, Grandma said. I never saw a midget up close. Little person, Briggs said. And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
Janet Evanovich
When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.
Janet Evanovich
I'm for sure a workaholic. I'm a complete control freak and I take on way too many projects.
Janet Evanovich
I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman.
Janet Evanovich
Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
Janet Evanovich
Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both.-
Janet Evanovich
Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
Janet Evanovich
Bullets are creepy. Stephenie
Janet Evanovich
Ranger’s gonna hate this,” Tank said. “Better to get shot than to have to explain the gate. Bad enough I got a horse that smells like his shower gel.
Janet Evanovich
I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.
Janet Evanovich
I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don’t want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We’re hot.
Janet Evanovich
Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire. I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer. Whoa. Dillon said. It wasn't my fault, I told him. Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for
Janet Evanovich
At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable camera.
Janet Evanovich
You owe me! -Stephanie Why do I owe you? -Joe I caught your no good cousin. -Stephanie Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property. -Joe Well if you are going to be picky about it.... -Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
You're not looking for a partner, Ranger said. You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar? Everything, I said. I just ate everything.
Janet Evanovich
And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
Janet Evanovich
He squinted at me. What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control?
Janet Evanovich
You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter. Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines
Janet Evanovich