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I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Grandmother
Task
Tasks
Eating
Strangle
Wouldn
Guessed
Father
Inclined
Mother
Figured
Right
Jump

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If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
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Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
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I'm sorry about your Porsche. I can replace the Porsche. I can't replace you. You need to be more careful. I was just sitting in your car! Babe, you're a magnet for disaster.
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I shot that sucker right in the gumpy. Grandma Mazur
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One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger
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You're not looking for a partner, Ranger said. You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar? Everything, I said. I just ate everything.
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I received rejection letters for ten years (one on a napkin, written in crayon.) I had all my rejection notices stored in a box. When the box was finally full I took it to the curb and set it on fire. The next day I went out and got a temp job.
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Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
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I don't know much about cars, Joyce said, but I think someone took my engine.
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