Quote

Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Janet Evanovich

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Fart
Sneak
Grandma
Maybe
Sometimes

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

Image
Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this. - Morelli
Janet Evanovich
Image
He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Oh, for God's sake, I said. Just give me the stupid thing. I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. GPS, Ranger said to Morelli. Probably I can find her breast without it, Morelli said. But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
Janet Evanovich
Image
You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I was driving by, doing a security check... and I smelled leg of lamb. Morelli
Janet Evanovich
Image
I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy
Janet Evanovich
Image
Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Stephanie,' Valerie said. 'She's going to have a baby, and she's getting married.' My father was confused. He looked around the room. No Joe. No Ranger. His eyes locked on Diesel. 'Not the psycho,' he said. Diesel blew out a sigh. My father turned to my mother. 'Get me the carving knife. Make sure it's sharp.
Janet Evanovich
Image
You gonna take the case? It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of. You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, Grandma said.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both.-
Janet Evanovich
Image
I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.
Janet Evanovich
Image
On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time.
Janet Evanovich
Image
[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.
Janet Evanovich
Image
Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.
Janet Evanovich
Image
I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.
Janet Evanovich