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Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both.-
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
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South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Sometimes
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Shopping
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Novelists
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Males
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Week
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More quotes by Janet Evanovich
Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
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The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang, Grandma said. Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.
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Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things? Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.
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Aren't you something, Grandma said. I never saw a midget up close. Little person, Briggs said. And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
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He squinted at me. What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control?
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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.
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Was a fast easy reading, Good to take your mind off of anything serious for a while
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-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-
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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
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You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire. Do you really think so?' Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.' I don't like the wood elves.' They're okay. They're misunderstood.
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The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August
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She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.” “Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg asked. “It’s my job,” Kellen said. “I kill people. It pays well, but it’s not universally socially acceptable.
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What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples? Helen Plum
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When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.
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I don't want my readers slowed down by long passages of narrative.
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Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion
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You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.
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Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
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