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I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Along
Thought
Good
Fading
Route
Routes
Sunset
Somewhere
Luck

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.
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You should see me work my magic in leather Ranger
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Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.
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I may not be the most patient woman in the world, or the most glamorous, or the most athletic, but I'm right up there at the top of the line when it comes to resiliency.
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The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. Fainted, I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock. Well, the rock fainted.
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Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
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You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
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On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time.
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When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.
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I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.
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you see what I'm saying? Mooner said. Something else always comes along. You go to jail, you don't have to worry about anything. No rent to pay. No food bill to sweat. Free dental plan. And that's worth something, dude.You don't wnat to stick your nose up at free dental.
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Gotta protect the little dudes. I tried an AK-47, but it wouldn't fit under my seat. I like the Uzi better, anyway. It looks better with the dress. The AK seems too casual to me
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I'd do the lifting, but I just got a manicure. And I notice you don't have a manicure at all. Only thing noticeable about your hands is the missing tan on your ring finger that I don't care about. -Lula
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You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli
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He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.
Janet Evanovich
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I always know it's Sunday because I wake up feeling apologetic. That's one of the cool things about being a Catholic . . . it's a multifaceted experience. If you lose the faith, chances are you'll keep the guilt, so it isn't as if you've been skunked altogether.
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The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics. Connie Rosolli
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Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.
Janet Evanovich
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The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
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-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-
Janet Evanovich