Quote

Ranger sent us to check on you, Hal said. We just got here, and we heard shots. Some moron ate my jelly doughnut, Lula said. So I shot him.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Shot
Ranger
Shots
Doughnut
Heard
Rangers
Jelly
Moron
Check
Sent
Checks
Lula

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I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate. Grandma Mazur
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Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this. - Morelli
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No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge.
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Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head. Eddie DeChooch
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From the look on your face, I'd say you know him. I nodded. Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school. Connie grunted. Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli
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-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-
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You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think? Stuart Bagget
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Are you afraid of me? Uh... yes.' The smile stayed fixed in place. 'You should be. You locked me in a refrigerator truck with three dead people. Sooner or later I'm going to get you for it.
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Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.
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Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.
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You owe me! -Stephanie Why do I owe you? -Joe I caught your no good cousin. -Stephanie Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property. -Joe Well if you are going to be picky about it.... -Stephanie
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I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
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Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
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Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
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You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire. Do you really think so?' Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.' I don't like the wood elves.' They're okay. They're misunderstood.
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I was driving by, doing a security check... and I smelled leg of lamb. Morelli
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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
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I'm for sure a workaholic. I'm a complete control freak and I take on way too many projects.
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I received rejection letters for ten years (one on a napkin, written in crayon.) I had all my rejection notices stored in a box. When the box was finally full I took it to the curb and set it on fire. The next day I went out and got a temp job.
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I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
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