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You owe me! -Stephanie Why do I owe you? -Joe I caught your no good cousin. -Stephanie Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property. -Joe Well if you are going to be picky about it.... -Stephanie

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Wells
Thousands
Well
Caught
Going
Dollars
Stephanie
Good
Property
Picky
Yeah
Damaged
Process
Cousin
Home
Funeral
Government
Burned

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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I went to the door, and Gary tried hard not to notice I was blue. He looked at his feet, and he looked above my head, and he cleared his throat. It's okay,' I said. 'I know I'm blue.' It caught me by surprise,' he said. 'I didn't want to seem rude.
Janet Evanovich
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Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.
Janet Evanovich
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I'd do the lifting, but I just got a manicure. And I notice you don't have a manicure at all. Only thing noticeable about your hands is the missing tan on your ring finger that I don't care about. -Lula
Janet Evanovich
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God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.
Janet Evanovich
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I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down. Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich
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I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.
Janet Evanovich
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Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.
Janet Evanovich
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Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
Janet Evanovich
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I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
Janet Evanovich
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Was a fast easy reading, Good to take your mind off of anything serious for a while
Janet Evanovich
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You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills, I said. I just enter. I don't usually break. You broke down Pitch's door. Lost my temper. -Ranger and Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
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Aren't you something, Grandma said. I never saw a midget up close. Little person, Briggs said. And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
Janet Evanovich
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Oh, for God's sake, I said. Just give me the stupid thing. I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. GPS, Ranger said to Morelli. Probably I can find her breast without it, Morelli said. But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.
Janet Evanovich
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I hate mornings. They start so early.
Janet Evanovich
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How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.
Janet Evanovich
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Stephanie,' Valerie said. 'She's going to have a baby, and she's getting married.' My father was confused. He looked around the room. No Joe. No Ranger. His eyes locked on Diesel. 'Not the psycho,' he said. Diesel blew out a sigh. My father turned to my mother. 'Get me the carving knife. Make sure it's sharp.
Janet Evanovich
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
Janet Evanovich
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-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-
Janet Evanovich
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Diesel is back, Ranger said. Yes. How did you know? I woke up with a migraine this morning. Ranger said.
Janet Evanovich
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I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.
Janet Evanovich