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He's a good man, Ranger said. And you? I'm better.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Good
Men
Ranger
Rangers
Better

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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I don't mean to change the subject or anything, but have you tried concealer on that zit? Cynthia Lotte - Hot Six
Janet Evanovich
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
Janet Evanovich
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I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.
Janet Evanovich
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The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang, Grandma said. Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.
Janet Evanovich
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Make sure your main characters are likeable. They can be flawed, but your readers need to be able to root for them.
Janet Evanovich
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You gonna take the case? It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of. You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, Grandma said.
Janet Evanovich
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At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable camera.
Janet Evanovich
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If anything happened to you, I'd be so destroyed they'd have to strap me to a bed and feed me through a tube. After five or six years, I might be capable of taking care of Rex. In the interim, you should assign a guardian.
Janet Evanovich
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I shot that sucker right in the gumpy. Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich
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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
Janet Evanovich
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You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.
Janet Evanovich
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I have bad car juju. -Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
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I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy
Janet Evanovich
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
Janet Evanovich
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These are desparate times. - Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
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Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.
Janet Evanovich
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Ranger sent us to check on you, Hal said. We just got here, and we heard shots. Some moron ate my jelly doughnut, Lula said. So I shot him.
Janet Evanovich
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You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire. Do you really think so?' Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.' I don't like the wood elves.' They're okay. They're misunderstood.
Janet Evanovich
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I wasn’t sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others.
Janet Evanovich
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I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities.
Janet Evanovich