Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
Janet Evanovich
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Lose
Loses
Sure
Wanted
Made
Creamed
Would
Spinach
Dessert
Weight
More quotes by Janet Evanovich
I went to the door, and Gary tried hard not to notice I was blue. He looked at his feet, and he looked above my head, and he cleared his throat. It's okay,' I said. 'I know I'm blue.' It caught me by surprise,' he said. 'I didn't want to seem rude.
Janet Evanovich
If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk, I said to Ranger. Not drunk, Ranger said. Just relaxed and naked.
Janet Evanovich
I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
Janet Evanovich
I may not be the most patient woman in the world, or the most glamorous, or the most athletic, but I'm right up there at the top of the line when it comes to resiliency.
Janet Evanovich
When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.
Janet Evanovich
And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
Janet Evanovich
Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
Janet Evanovich
You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter. Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines
Janet Evanovich
I always know it's Sunday because I wake up feeling apologetic. That's one of the cool things about being a Catholic . . . it's a multifaceted experience. If you lose the faith, chances are you'll keep the guilt, so it isn't as if you've been skunked altogether.
Janet Evanovich
I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.
Janet Evanovich
I don't know much about cars, Joyce said, but I think someone took my engine.
Janet Evanovich
I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
Janet Evanovich
Are you afraid of me? Uh... yes.' The smile stayed fixed in place. 'You should be. You locked me in a refrigerator truck with three dead people. Sooner or later I'm going to get you for it.
Janet Evanovich
I almost never shoot people.
Janet Evanovich
Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.
Janet Evanovich
I have bad car juju. -Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
Janet Evanovich
I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.
Janet Evanovich
Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
Janet Evanovich