Quote

A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Never
Sexes
Idiot
Equality
Sex
Along
Goes
Woman
Potty
Make
Parity

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
Janet Evanovich
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God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.
Janet Evanovich
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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
Janet Evanovich
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Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire. I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer. Whoa. Dillon said. It wasn't my fault, I told him. Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for
Janet Evanovich
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I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.
Janet Evanovich
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
Janet Evanovich
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Make sure your main characters are likeable. They can be flawed, but your readers need to be able to root for them.
Janet Evanovich
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This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe. Ranger
Janet Evanovich
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Who's the best person you know. Of all the people you know personally, is there anyone who has a sense of right and wrong and lives by it? This was a sticky question because it would have to be Ranger ...but I suspected he occasionally killed people. Only bad people, of course, but still...
Janet Evanovich
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-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-
Janet Evanovich
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I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.
Janet Evanovich
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She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.” “Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg asked. “It’s my job,” Kellen said. “I kill people. It pays well, but it’s not universally socially acceptable.
Janet Evanovich
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The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang, Grandma said. Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.
Janet Evanovich
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Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula
Janet Evanovich
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How was your day? Morelli asked me. Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
Janet Evanovich
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I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.
Janet Evanovich
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Diesel is back, Ranger said. Yes. How did you know? I woke up with a migraine this morning. Ranger said.
Janet Evanovich
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Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
Janet Evanovich
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The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. Fainted, I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock. Well, the rock fainted.
Janet Evanovich
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One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger
Janet Evanovich