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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Raining
Jersey
Slow
Rain
Dark
Anything
Visibility

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Omigod,' I said on a sudden flash of sleep-deprived insight. 'You're the big bad wolf.' There are some similarities.
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Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
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I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
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Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige.
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I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.
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Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things? Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.
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Were really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way.
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I hate mornings. They start so early.
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He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.
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Who's the best person you know. Of all the people you know personally, is there anyone who has a sense of right and wrong and lives by it? This was a sticky question because it would have to be Ranger ...but I suspected he occasionally killed people. Only bad people, of course, but still...
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I shot that sucker right in the gumpy. Grandma Mazur
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Ranger clicked his penlight on. Hang onto me if you can't see. I curled my hand into the back of his cargo pants just above his gun belt. I'm good to go. He was still for a beat. You could have held on to my jacket, he said. Would you rather I do that? No. Not even a little.
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Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire. I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer. Whoa. Dillon said. It wasn't my fault, I told him. Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for
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You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli
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As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.
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You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills, I said. I just enter. I don't usually break. You broke down Pitch's door. Lost my temper. -Ranger and Stephanie
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I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities.
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I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. It was all because of the shower gel, I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. Shower gel? I made a major effort not to sigh. Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
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How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.
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