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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Slow
Rain
Dark
Anything
Visibility
Raining
Jersey

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I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. It was all because of the shower gel, I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. Shower gel? I made a major effort not to sigh. Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
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When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.
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Your on your on with this one babe. Coward. Calling me names isn't going to get me in there. -Ranger and Stephanie
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Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.
Janet Evanovich
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Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
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Connie drove a silver Camry with rosary beads hanging from her rearview mirror and a Smith& Wesson stuck under the seat. No matter whatwent down, Connie was covered.
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I received rejection letters for ten years (one on a napkin, written in crayon.) I had all my rejection notices stored in a box. When the box was finally full I took it to the curb and set it on fire. The next day I went out and got a temp job.
Janet Evanovich
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Are you afraid of me? Uh... yes.' The smile stayed fixed in place. 'You should be. You locked me in a refrigerator truck with three dead people. Sooner or later I'm going to get you for it.
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Diesel is back, Ranger said. Yes. How did you know? I woke up with a migraine this morning. Ranger said.
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
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How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.
Janet Evanovich
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I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.
Janet Evanovich
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Is there anything else you need from me? Ranger asked. Not right now. There will come a time, Ranger said. Let me know when. And he disconnected. I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead.
Janet Evanovich
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[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.
Janet Evanovich
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You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.
Janet Evanovich
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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
Janet Evanovich
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I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean
Janet Evanovich
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Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
Janet Evanovich
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You gonna take the case? It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of. You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, Grandma said.
Janet Evanovich
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I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.
Janet Evanovich