Quote

Aren't you something, Grandma said. I never saw a midget up close. Little person, Briggs said. And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Person
Grandma
Little
Aren
Something
Saws
Never
Close
Either
Anyone
Littles
Persons
Midget

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge.
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Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.
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If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk, I said to Ranger. Not drunk, Ranger said. Just relaxed and naked.
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Give me the gun. Ranger said. I extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. Ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. It's warm, he said. He put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. Am I fired? No. Any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.
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I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.
Janet Evanovich
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I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth.
Janet Evanovich
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I think that some books are more successful than others to certain readers. People who read my books for the humor, they're going to love one book. People who read my books for the mystery, they might not like that book quite as much.
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Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
Janet Evanovich
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Are we fighting? I asked Morelli. No. Were discussing. Are you sure? Am I yelling? Morelli asked. Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around? No. The were not fighting.
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It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence. Joe Morelli
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You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think? Stuart Bagget
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The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang, Grandma said. Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.
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I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.
Janet Evanovich
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He doesn’t look very smart,” Diesel said. “He’s not even giving me the finger.” “Can monkey’s do that?” Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. “Cool!” Hal said.
Janet Evanovich
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I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
Janet Evanovich
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Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula
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Your on your on with this one babe. Coward. Calling me names isn't going to get me in there. -Ranger and Stephanie
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I got out of the tub and had to squelch a scream when I saw my reflection in the vanity mirror. My hair looked like it had taken 2000 volts and been spray starched
Janet Evanovich