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I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
White
Lula
Wanted
Assed
Wells
Grandma
Well
Negro
Good
Guess
Always
Yeah
Works
Woman
More quotes by Janet Evanovich
This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe. Ranger
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Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.
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Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.
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You're not looking for a partner, Ranger said. You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar? Everything, I said. I just ate everything.
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Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early. -Ranger
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How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.
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Your on your on with this one babe. Coward. Calling me names isn't going to get me in there. -Ranger and Stephanie
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You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake. Morelli said. I'll find you. You are such a cop. Tell me about it.
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Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
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I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.
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Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.
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Oh, for God's sake, I said. Just give me the stupid thing. I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. GPS, Ranger said to Morelli. Probably I can find her breast without it, Morelli said. But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.
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The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
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He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.
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What are you doing back at the bakery?” I asked [Diesel]. “Did you know Wulf was here?” “No. I knew food was here.
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Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head. Eddie DeChooch
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Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
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I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying.
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Are we fighting? I asked Morelli. No. Were discussing. Are you sure? Am I yelling? Morelli asked. Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around? No. The were not fighting.
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