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I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Keep
Look
Looks
Need
Needs
Twice
Like
Idiot
Humble
Least

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A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.
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Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early. -Ranger
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Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
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Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week. Carl Costanza - Hot Six
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These are desparate times. - Stephanie Plum
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I wasnt always a writer. When I went to college and majored in fine arts, I was a painter. Then I was a stay-at-home mom.
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He had a body like batman
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Your life isn't out of control. It's expanded.
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You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.
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I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.
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He's a good man, Ranger said. And you? I'm better.
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I wasn’t sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others.
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Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.
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I always know it's Sunday because I wake up feeling apologetic. That's one of the cool things about being a Catholic . . . it's a multifaceted experience. If you lose the faith, chances are you'll keep the guilt, so it isn't as if you've been skunked altogether.
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
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I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.
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It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence. Joe Morelli
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I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
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Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.
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Give me the gun. Ranger said. I extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. Ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. It's warm, he said. He put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. Am I fired? No. Any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.
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