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On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Last
Next
Bright
Better
Luck
Ever
Side
Time
Sides
Maybe
Sure
Lasts

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.
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I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don’t want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We’re hot.
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[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.
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You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.
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I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionall mature.
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I almost never shoot people.
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Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator. Stephanie Plum
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Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early. -Ranger
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
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When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.
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Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. this is it, he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep.this car has protective qualities You mean like a guardian angel? I mean, like, it has seatbelts
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Your life isn't out of control. It's expanded.
Janet Evanovich
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I like being able to provide consistent and frequent literary choices for my fans.
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The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang, Grandma said. Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.
Janet Evanovich
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As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. That's a rocket launcher! Yep, Lula said. It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects.
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Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
Janet Evanovich
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How was your day? Morelli asked me. Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
Janet Evanovich
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Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things? Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.
Janet Evanovich
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And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
Janet Evanovich
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I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.
Janet Evanovich