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There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Disaster
Call
Hours
Experience
Thing
Good
Calls

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Stephanie,' Valerie said. 'She's going to have a baby, and she's getting married.' My father was confused. He looked around the room. No Joe. No Ranger. His eyes locked on Diesel. 'Not the psycho,' he said. Diesel blew out a sigh. My father turned to my mother. 'Get me the carving knife. Make sure it's sharp.
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He had a body like batman
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I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don’t want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We’re hot.
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If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
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Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you
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Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.
Janet Evanovich
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Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige.
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Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire. I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer. Whoa. Dillon said. It wasn't my fault, I told him. Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for
Janet Evanovich
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Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.
Janet Evanovich
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Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
Janet Evanovich
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Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.
Janet Evanovich
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
Janet Evanovich
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I think that some books are more successful than others to certain readers. People who read my books for the humor, they're going to love one book. People who read my books for the mystery, they might not like that book quite as much.
Janet Evanovich
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What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples? Helen Plum
Janet Evanovich
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I got out of the tub and had to squelch a scream when I saw my reflection in the vanity mirror. My hair looked like it had taken 2000 volts and been spray starched
Janet Evanovich
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I thought you wanted to date other women? I didn't want to date other women. We decided in the heat of the moment that were no longer exclusively attached. And I could date other men. Morelli was starting to look annoyed. Have you been dating other men? Maybe. As long as it isn't Ranger, Morelli said. I don't think Ranger d
Janet Evanovich
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I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.
Janet Evanovich
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I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
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God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.
Janet Evanovich
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I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying.
Janet Evanovich