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Are you afraid of me? Uh... yes.' The smile stayed fixed in place. 'You should be. You locked me in a refrigerator truck with three dead people. Sooner or later I'm going to get you for it.
Janet Evanovich
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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
People
Fixed
Smile
Later
Refrigerator
Afraid
Refrigerators
Dead
Truck
Three
Stayed
Place
Sooner
Going
Locked
More quotes by Janet Evanovich
You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli
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I may not be the most patient woman in the world, or the most glamorous, or the most athletic, but I'm right up there at the top of the line when it comes to resiliency.
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I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
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It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
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Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
Janet Evanovich
Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week. Carl Costanza - Hot Six
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Excuse me? I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. Coffee? I thought we came here for pie. I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here. I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
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Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula
Janet Evanovich
He squinted at me. What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control?
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Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. I gotta get me a pair if those, she said, eyeballing my shorts. I've still got pretty good legs, you know. She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things? Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.
Janet Evanovich
Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
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I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.
Janet Evanovich
I almost never shoot people.
Janet Evanovich
Aren't you something, Grandma said. I never saw a midget up close. Little person, Briggs said. And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
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I wasnt always a writer. When I went to college and majored in fine arts, I was a painter. Then I was a stay-at-home mom.
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Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions? -Ranger
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He had a body like batman
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Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head. Eddie DeChooch
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