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I almost never shoot people.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Shoot
Almost
Never
People

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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
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I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
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Nice dress. Take it off.
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
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You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake. Morelli said. I'll find you. You are such a cop. Tell me about it.
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Personally, I'm a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don't have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It's magic. End of discussion.
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You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.
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Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out? Lula
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Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.
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Give me the gun. Ranger said. I extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. Ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. It's warm, he said. He put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. Am I fired? No. Any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.
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I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionall mature.
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You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli
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I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman.
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Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.
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Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
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You gonna take the case? It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of. You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, Grandma said.
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If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
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I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
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