Quote

God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Probably
Heard
Morning
Guy
Chance
Chances
Time
Breakfast
Busy
Early

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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What are you doing back at the bakery?” I asked [Diesel]. “Did you know Wulf was here?” “No. I knew food was here.
Janet Evanovich
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Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
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Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. this is it, he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep.this car has protective qualities You mean like a guardian angel? I mean, like, it has seatbelts
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Is there anything else you need from me? Ranger asked. Not right now. There will come a time, Ranger said. Let me know when. And he disconnected. I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead.
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I looked over at him. Is that a proposal? There was total silence for a couple beats. I'm not sure. It just popped out. Let me know when you're sure. Would you say yes? Morelli asked. I'm not sure.
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I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.
Janet Evanovich
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I'd do the lifting, but I just got a manicure. And I notice you don't have a manicure at all. Only thing noticeable about your hands is the missing tan on your ring finger that I don't care about. -Lula
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The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics. Connie Rosolli
Janet Evanovich
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You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)
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I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.
Janet Evanovich
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Amen Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. I thought you were Baptist. Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.
Janet Evanovich
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He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.
Janet Evanovich
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There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing. Ranger
Janet Evanovich
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You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious.-
Janet Evanovich
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Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
Janet Evanovich
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Were really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way.
Janet Evanovich
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There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.
Janet Evanovich
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Are you afraid of me? Uh... yes.' The smile stayed fixed in place. 'You should be. You locked me in a refrigerator truck with three dead people. Sooner or later I'm going to get you for it.
Janet Evanovich
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
Janet Evanovich
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How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.
Janet Evanovich