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Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Weddings
Throw
Deeper
Getting
Turns
Keep

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I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.
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I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. It was all because of the shower gel, I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. Shower gel? I made a major effort not to sigh. Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
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I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman.
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I like being able to provide consistent and frequent literary choices for my fans.
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Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.
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How was your day? Morelli asked me. Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
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I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.
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I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.
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Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.
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You should see me work my magic in leather Ranger
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One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger
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Is there anything else you need from me? Ranger asked. Not right now. There will come a time, Ranger said. Let me know when. And he disconnected. I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead.
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Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion
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Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?' Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.' Superheroes are make-believe.' Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?
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And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky
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Oh, for God's sake, I said. Just give me the stupid thing. I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. GPS, Ranger said to Morelli. Probably I can find her breast without it, Morelli said. But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.
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I have bad car juju. -Stephanie Plum
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Omygod, I haven’t got years. I’ll have to hide in the Bat Cave.” “Once you go to the Bat Cave it’s forever, babe.” Eeek.
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
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