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Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Throw
Deeper
Getting
Turns
Keep
Weddings

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Diesel is back, Ranger said. Yes. How did you know? I woke up with a migraine this morning. Ranger said.
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Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula
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There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.
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Ranger clicked his penlight on. Hang onto me if you can't see. I curled my hand into the back of his cargo pants just above his gun belt. I'm good to go. He was still for a beat. You could have held on to my jacket, he said. Would you rather I do that? No. Not even a little.
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
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He's a good man, Ranger said. And you? I'm better.
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I have bad car juju. -Stephanie Plum
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Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.
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Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. this is it, he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep.this car has protective qualities You mean like a guardian angel? I mean, like, it has seatbelts
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Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.
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Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
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You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter. Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines
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I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.
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I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean
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Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early. -Ranger
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.
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You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms. Joe Morelli
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I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth.
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When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.
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