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I have bad car juju. -Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Stephanie
Plum
Plums
Car
Juju

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off, he said. I'm not in the mood to compromise.
Janet Evanovich
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I don't want my readers slowed down by long passages of narrative.
Janet Evanovich
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Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
Janet Evanovich
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I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.
Janet Evanovich
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Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this. - Morelli
Janet Evanovich
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Omygod, I haven’t got years. I’ll have to hide in the Bat Cave.” “Once you go to the Bat Cave it’s forever, babe.” Eeek.
Janet Evanovich
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Have you eaten?' I asked Diesel. When?' Recently.' No.
Janet Evanovich
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If anything happened to you, I'd be so destroyed they'd have to strap me to a bed and feed me through a tube. After five or six years, I might be capable of taking care of Rex. In the interim, you should assign a guardian.
Janet Evanovich
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I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth.
Janet Evanovich
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Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.
Janet Evanovich
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
Janet Evanovich
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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.
Janet Evanovich
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I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset. Good luck, I thought. My tailpipe was somewhere on Route 1, along with my muffler.
Janet Evanovich
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
Janet Evanovich
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I shot that sucker right in the gumpy. Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich
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I got out of the elevator and confronted Mr. Wexler. “Killing is wrong.” “We kill chickens,” Mr. Wexler said. “We kill cows. We kill trees. So big deal, we kill some drug dealers.” It was hard to argue with that kind of logic because I like cows and chickens and trees much better than drug dealers.
Janet Evanovich
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I don't mean to change the subject or anything, but have you tried concealer on that zit? Cynthia Lotte - Hot Six
Janet Evanovich
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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
Janet Evanovich
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I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea.
Janet Evanovich
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I almost never shoot people.
Janet Evanovich