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I have bad car juju. -Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Juju
Stephanie
Plum
Plums
Car

More quotes by Janet Evanovich

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Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
Janet Evanovich
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Was a fast easy reading, Good to take your mind off of anything serious for a while
Janet Evanovich
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Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire. I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer. Whoa. Dillon said. It wasn't my fault, I told him. Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for
Janet Evanovich
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I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman.
Janet Evanovich
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It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight. - Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
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I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.
Janet Evanovich
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Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.
Janet Evanovich
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Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.
Janet Evanovich
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Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions? -Ranger
Janet Evanovich
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Who's the best person you know. Of all the people you know personally, is there anyone who has a sense of right and wrong and lives by it? This was a sticky question because it would have to be Ranger ...but I suspected he occasionally killed people. Only bad people, of course, but still...
Janet Evanovich
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Make sure your main characters are likeable. They can be flawed, but your readers need to be able to root for them.
Janet Evanovich
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As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. That's a rocket launcher! Yep, Lula said. It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects.
Janet Evanovich
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On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time.
Janet Evanovich
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If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
Janet Evanovich
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When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.
Janet Evanovich
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You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms. Joe Morelli
Janet Evanovich
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It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.
Janet Evanovich
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I was driving by, doing a security check... and I smelled leg of lamb. Morelli
Janet Evanovich
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It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence. Joe Morelli
Janet Evanovich
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I checked my phone messages. Three in all. The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole message. The second was from Ranger. “Yo.” Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.
Janet Evanovich