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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.

Janet Evanovich

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Janet Evanovich
Age: 81
Born: 1943
Born: April 22
Novelist
Writer
South River
New Jersey
Steffie Hall
Looks
Sweetie
Flies
Birds
Including
Bird
Safe
Nothing

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The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
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I don't know much about cars, Joyce said, but I think someone took my engine.
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Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
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I wasnt always a writer. When I went to college and majored in fine arts, I was a painter. Then I was a stay-at-home mom.
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Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.
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Am I to assume you would rather not have us as clients? Let me think about that for a nanosecond, Dickie said. Yes! Last time you were in my office you tried to kill me. That's an exaggeration. Maim you, yes. Kill you, probably not.
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I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
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Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire. I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer. Whoa. Dillon said. It wasn't my fault, I told him. Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for
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I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
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Were really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way.
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Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
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If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
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I'd do the lifting, but I just got a manicure. And I notice you don't have a manicure at all. Only thing noticeable about your hands is the missing tan on your ring finger that I don't care about. -Lula
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Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone.
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I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.
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On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time.
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This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe. Ranger
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